Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
