I wish I could punch you in the face.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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