Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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