I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
