According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Alive.
So much puke
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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