Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
