One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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