At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
