I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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