Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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