Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize