Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
