Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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