WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
