he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
