I wish I could punch you in the face.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
