i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
