I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
