I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
