Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
