was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it's like iHOP with fire
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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