Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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