You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
