Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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