I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
did i just pee glitter
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
