wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
