Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
