What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
