If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Terrible idea I love it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
