I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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