Can Purell be used as lube?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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