Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize