I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
