Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
