I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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