$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
