I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
