White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
