Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
