I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
