My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
