YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
