how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
