You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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