he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
