Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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