i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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