South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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