Me too!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
