Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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