Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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(618): View more from Illinois

She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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(707): View more from California

Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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(970): View more from Colorado

In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage

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