I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
