Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize