I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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