oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
