when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
