Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
