I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
