Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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